Everybody lies

If you have just read that title and are thinking: 'No I do not!' Then uh, oh! You are lying to yourself right this second!

STOP LYING!

According to a new survey by a British beverage firm, each of us will tell an average total of 88,000 lies over the course of our lives. How shocking is that, huh? That's like 1,460 untruths a year or more than four in every day of an average, 60-year adult lifetime.

Pretty shocking, no?

Well let's look at this objectively.

Adults, yes, us adults are the worse for lying. Well, parents more so than just branding all adults BARE FACED LIERS!

#1. Yes, Santa Claus does exist. Okay, who sees the lie here? Can anyone pick it out? Oh, there it is, Father Christmas, the man who watches your children all year round then decides if they have been good enough to lavish them with gifts (the whole concept is really paedophilic if you ask me.).

#2. The things that go bump in the night? They won’t hurt you. Again, bare faced lie. Why try to protect them from things you know could potentially hurt them? Throw your children into the pile of glass and warn them about the ugly world as soon as possible – it’s really the best way to protect them.

#3. No, your ass doesn’t look fat. Uh, oh. How many husbands/boyfriends or Lesbian lovers haven’t used this little lie? Exactly, we’ve all done it one time or another. Be honest, people really do appreciate honesty. You don’t want to come back from a party and have the argument back home with the Mrs about how the whole party was looking how fat she looked. Especially after you told her she looked perfect. Be honest.

#4. The Toothfairy. Need I go into it? Why lie about such a stupid thing?

I have to admit though, as a person who finds people and their actions interesting, the best line (er, lie I mean) I have heard came from a machine. Here it is:

"Your call is important to us, so please stay on the line."

Which can, in fact, cost an hour or more of your time, not to mention money!! Important to you MY ASS!